I saw myself, sleeping under a canopy-like tree, without a care and no
one to disturb. The image of it seemed all so clear yet almost real. I tried running
towards to reach myself, but as I stepped my right foot onto the soft green
grass, the wind blows and somehow keeping me from getting close to myself. I
kept running, but it seems useless although it was never too far from where I
am standing. I was still seeing myself deeply asleep with my hair keeps waving
with the soft breeze. I can almost felt my face getting blown by the breeze
itself but all that hits and keeping me from getting closer is this unbreakable
strong wind. Suddenly, the wind threw me back and I dropped down hard with my
back pressing down the grass. I’m shocked as the grass bounces me up and felts
like my bed back at home. Home! How can I forget my home? I look around, and
kept finding an endless land of hills with a carpet of green grass covering
them. My worries grow tremendously, I can feel a rush of blood inside me.
My other self who was sleeping finally opens her eyes. I yelled and scream as loud as I could, calling my name, tried to figure out this land of mystery by asking her the questions that have been wildly crossing my mind. She looks around with an unbelievably relaxed emotion on her face. As she tried to stand on her feet, I felt my body getting weaker with my vision is blurring. The last images I can remember is that my other self standing by the tree and begin to walk away and everything is consumed by the darkness as I close my eyes. I heard a yell far away saying, ”Hey! Hey! Hello?! Nira, help! She is regaining her color!” I was struggling, try to open my eye lids, but the harder I tried the heavier it gets. I could feel my mouth being forced to open. I could taste a hint of flavors slipping down my tongue, it’s homemade gravy. The taste of it brings my eyes to open.
My other self who was sleeping finally opens her eyes. I yelled and scream as loud as I could, calling my name, tried to figure out this land of mystery by asking her the questions that have been wildly crossing my mind. She looks around with an unbelievably relaxed emotion on her face. As she tried to stand on her feet, I felt my body getting weaker with my vision is blurring. The last images I can remember is that my other self standing by the tree and begin to walk away and everything is consumed by the darkness as I close my eyes. I heard a yell far away saying, ”Hey! Hey! Hello?! Nira, help! She is regaining her color!” I was struggling, try to open my eye lids, but the harder I tried the heavier it gets. I could feel my mouth being forced to open. I could taste a hint of flavors slipping down my tongue, it’s homemade gravy. The taste of it brings my eyes to open.
The ceiling and wall hangings, the vase, everything looks very simple. A
face looked into my eyes, and I got a little stumbled. I guess it doesn’t show,
because his eyes aren’t shaking and very focus at mine. I got nervous at first
but something about his eyes brings warmth that feels familiar somehow. The
hazelnut color of his eyes that got surrounded by aging lids is very beautiful
it almost seems unrealistic. Then a woman showed up brings our stare to an end
with her hands holding a mortar full of green substance and a hand-sized masher
with leafy greens carried by her lips. It’s brings me some smile because it
looked funny in some sort of ways. She mash-in some of her lips-carried leafy
greens into the green substance. She rolled-up my T-shirt sleeve and revealed
my wounds that I didn’t even know there was. It was very deep and for once in
my life I got panicked from seeing my own wounds.
How can’t I felt such a wound? Was it the cause of my dream? I knew I’m
scared, but I can’t help looking towards my wound as a finger run softly
through it together with the green substance. It relieved my pain immediately
in a split second, and left it with cooling minty feel. I opened my mouth and
try to arrange a view words to begin a conversation. As I do so, not a word
came out of me, just air of exhale. Both of them looked at me with concern. I
raised myself to a sitting position and try to communicate with them, but it
seemed effortless. The man stood up and leave me alone with a woman that I
assumed name Nira, a middle age woman with a short shinny black hair and a deep
gray eyes. She’s not too skinny and her skin tone is light brown. She helped me
stood-up in silence and helped me walk to a bedroom.
“Are you able to write what is that you would like to
say?”, said Nira calmly by handing out sheets of paper and a feather-pen.
I nodded and took all of it.
I wrote “I can’t remember my name, I don’t know why can’t I speak, and I don’t know how I got here, there are many questions that I’ve been wanted to ask you.”
She read it and reply immediately,” We found you fainted by the side of a nearby glacier, your skin is in a very pale tone. It was indeed a very cold night although it was always cold here in Clavreos. We carried you inside of our house to save you from being damaged by the outside world. My husband is very good at dealing with this sort of things. I will ask him about your condition soon. Now, What is it that you have been wanted to ask?” She looked into my eyes and somehow it comforts me rather than tense the situation. I wrote,” I’m so sorry to make you worried. I got the feeling that it’s better to ask my questions to your husband after knowing what he can do.” She giggles and so was I. She offered me her home made chamomile tea to help me get some rest and I wrote back in a sheet of paper,” I think I’ve had enough rest. Thank you! Maybe later. ” She replied with a smile and left me alone in the room.
I got down from the bed and started lurking around in the room and found something that might have something to do with my condition. It got a lock and the sour feeling that I can’t open it has overwhelmed. Honestly my reaction to my sudden condition is not as real as how I feel. The feeling of being afraid that I might have never be able to speak for the rest of my life. The other scarier side effects that might show itself in or on me. That I might never know my identity and never know what I’ve been through or who was the person that means a lot to me, that brings joy and happiness. I might never know who I was and who my family is. And the world will be cruel enough to make me start over, back to the basics that I am supposed to remember only by my childhood memories. Yet those memories have left me alone with this scary dark place with nothing to remember at all. I would do anything I could to bring it all back even if it caused me pain or suffering.
I nodded and took all of it.
I wrote “I can’t remember my name, I don’t know why can’t I speak, and I don’t know how I got here, there are many questions that I’ve been wanted to ask you.”
She read it and reply immediately,” We found you fainted by the side of a nearby glacier, your skin is in a very pale tone. It was indeed a very cold night although it was always cold here in Clavreos. We carried you inside of our house to save you from being damaged by the outside world. My husband is very good at dealing with this sort of things. I will ask him about your condition soon. Now, What is it that you have been wanted to ask?” She looked into my eyes and somehow it comforts me rather than tense the situation. I wrote,” I’m so sorry to make you worried. I got the feeling that it’s better to ask my questions to your husband after knowing what he can do.” She giggles and so was I. She offered me her home made chamomile tea to help me get some rest and I wrote back in a sheet of paper,” I think I’ve had enough rest. Thank you! Maybe later. ” She replied with a smile and left me alone in the room.
I got down from the bed and started lurking around in the room and found something that might have something to do with my condition. It got a lock and the sour feeling that I can’t open it has overwhelmed. Honestly my reaction to my sudden condition is not as real as how I feel. The feeling of being afraid that I might have never be able to speak for the rest of my life. The other scarier side effects that might show itself in or on me. That I might never know my identity and never know what I’ve been through or who was the person that means a lot to me, that brings joy and happiness. I might never know who I was and who my family is. And the world will be cruel enough to make me start over, back to the basics that I am supposed to remember only by my childhood memories. Yet those memories have left me alone with this scary dark place with nothing to remember at all. I would do anything I could to bring it all back even if it caused me pain or suffering.
A knock on the door ended my thoughts and I quickly flew off to bed a
view seconds before the door started to crack open. The he was, standing by the
opened door looking straight into my eyes. . .
Coming up : My Lost Past : Part 2
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